Twas the Month Before Christmas – a poetic parody on Fox News

Twas the Month Before Christmas
By DJK

Twas the month before Christmas and all through the nation
Fox News began its annual campaign of self righteous indignation.
For at Fox, they would not be happy until every Hindu, Muslim, and Jew
Would be forced to say “Merry Christmas to you!”

Saying “Seasons Greetings” or “Happy Holidays” would not suffice,
Though for a multi-week celebration, these phrases are much more precise.
And although Hanukkah, Kwanza and the winter solstice all occur In December,
This was something that Fox News cannot seem to remember.

Thomas Jefferson had decreed a separation of Church and State,
But at Fox News they believe that Jesus Christ should dominate.
And they proclaim that not observing his birthday is equated with war
Though the actual date of his birth no one knows anymore.

The First Amendment states there should be no establishment of religion
But at Fox, they believe that the country is based on the Christian tradition
And though the words God or Jesus Christ do not appear in the US Constitution,
Fox News maintains the US Government is a Christian institution.

Fox News believes that Christianity is in imminent danger
If every public park in the land does not have a nativity scene manger.
And though there is nothing Christian about a decorated evergreen to me
They get bent all out of shape if it’s called a holiday tree.

At Fox they attack the secular humanists for not being devout
And then accuse them of not knowing what Christmas is all about.
But certain things not found in the Bible do not cause them to pause
Like Christmas trees, black Friday and good old Santa Claus.

Because they don’t have a problem with a secular Christmas
As long as it promotes capitalism and spending and is good for business.
At Fox News, they are happy to celebrate materialism, profit and greed
So while many do without, as many get things they don’t need.

At Fox News they believe Jesus is God and in his virgin birth,
But they do little to promote his message of charity and peace of earth.
And they claim the mainstream media has a bias and an anti-Christian slant
So they continue to pontificate and they continue to rant.

On Palin, on O’Reilly, on Gutfeld and Huckabee
On Carlson, on Kelly, on Doucey and Hannity
Keep spouting your outrage with the utmost of gall
And rant away, rant away, rant away all!

So, you can give and get presents every 25th of December
And sing carols and decorate and take time to remember.
As long as everyone can observe the holiday in their own way
So Seasons Greetings to all and have an extra nice day!

The End
© 2014 DJK

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